Florida vs. Florida - Republicans and 1 Democrat Lawyer Up Against Voters

Rick Scott has stuffed himself into a hat and now pulls himself out as a “defendant” in his own war against voters in Florida.

When you think of the way political lines are drawn, you may want to picture Florida as being shaped like a ballet shoe doing a pirouette because Florida has gently danced around the idea of a fair election for more than a decade now.

Let’s review this ballet & magic show, shall we?

Act 1
V is for Voters
In 2008, voters in Florida overwhelmingly voted for Hillary Clinton in the Presidential Primary. However, the Republican powers that be decided that they would rather run against Barack Obama and successfully invalidated the votes of Democrats in both Florida and Michigan. Barack Obama, to the dismay of many Republican tricksters, won the election anyway and resurrected Hillary Clinton as perhaps the most effective Secretary of State the USA has ever known.

Republicans are still sore about that. Especially in Florida.

Act 2
V is for Vendetta
In 2010, Republicans saw an opportunity to harness the anger, racism, homophobia, resentment and economic turmoil that voters were experiencing and re-package it as a revolution. Through a complex and manipulative marketing strategy, they birthed the “Tea Party” with funding from the Koch Industries and Florida’s own Amway.

(As a quick side note: Lady GaGa has broken her promise from the National Equality March for the 6th time by performing at an Amway Arena on Tax Day in Orlando. This is also after signing exclusive deals with Target and being the first to break the Arizona boycott.)

Once again successful, the Republicans elected a new leader for Florida… a billionaire proponent of privatization named Rick Scott. Since 2008, Republicans in Florida are keenly aware that racism and sexism, if made too obvious, can both come back to bite them in the ass. Therefore, Rick Scott was flanked throughout his campaign by a pretty black woman named Jennifer Carroll who satisfied both under-represented demographics for Republicans. She is rarely heard from since Scott won the election.

Intermission – A Puppet Show in the Lobby
V is for Ventriloquism

Believe it or not, Tea Party rhetoric was useful beyond what Republicans had originally anticipated. As it turns out, liberals gained traction with talk of “fighting the elitist cronyism at play in our big government”. Of course, the liberals were speaking of state-level politics which have been gerrymandered to benefit the Republican Party for as long as anyone can remember in the Sunshine State.

So it came to pass that the same puppets who denounced the validity of our President’s birth certificate could be used to promote the passage of Amendments 5 & 6 which would end the practice of re-drawing district lines to favor incumbent career politicians. Like naked emperors, Tea Party Republicans had proudly marched around Florida complaining of cronyism, nepotism and suppression of their fair representation. The unintended result was a window of opportunity to finally castrate Florida’s Republican machine – the machine that delivered George W. Bush to the United States of America.

Act 3
V is for Voodoo

In order to understand someone like Corrine Brown (D-FL), in my opinion, you need to see a movie called ‘Just Cause’ with Lawrence Fishburne. Fishburne plays a Sheriff in rural Florida who is one of the few black people permitted by the well-oiled establishment to hold a position of power. For this reason, he nearly terrorizes his own black community for the purpose of self-preservation.

Corrine Brown is a member of the US House of Representatives from North Florida and as such is situated in the same uncomfortable position (although, to my knowledge she has never terrorized anyone). She is one of the few Democrats in Florida who has systematically been permitted to win reelection for the last 17 years in a row. But Brown’s status as an incumbent comes at a steep price.

The district lines are re-drawn (gerrymandered) every year to capture almost every black voter in North Florida’s 3 largest cities (Orlando, Jacksonville and Gainsville) and throw all of them into her district so that other legislators needn’t worry about appeasing “those people” during their Republican campaigns. So, the tradeoff is that we get 1 black female Democrat in the House but we have to take as many as 3 hard-right Republicans in the area who don’t have to answer to a single black Democratic voter in their own districts.

Ultimately, this sort of injustice is what brings Corrine Brown to the rescue of Republican Governor Rick Scott as he tries to do away with Fair Districts Florida’s Amendments 5 & 6 (which have now become Article 3, Section 20 of the Florida Constitution). Corrine Brown has even called former leaders from the NAACP to her side and asked them to go against the current majority of civil rights figures (including President Obama) who support the new re-districting laws.

In what seemed like an alternate reality for Florida Democrats, Corrine Brown turned on a dime and sided with Mario Diaz-Balart (R-FL) (who voted against protecting minorities in every other situation) and the Republican establishment to sue the State of Florida in Federal Court for her perceived “right” to retain an unfair advantage in future elections. When Rick Scott purchased his way into election by the slightest margin ever, he became “the defendant” (along with the ACLU) in this case by default. The ACLU might be of some help in defending our new law, but Rick Scott will throw everything he can into stopping it.

It's confusing to voters because it makes it appear that Rick Scott is now defending fair districting practices in Florida against a black woman and a Hispanic man who want special treatment… That view of the situation is exactly how Rick Scott wants it to go down in the papers. But in reality, all 3 have been on the same side and wasting your tax dollars to fight against the Amendments that you voted into law. These three pirates have seized the throne and refuse to accept that they’ve already been outmoded.

In a time when teachers are being laid off by the thousands and medication for working-class people with HIV is no longer provided by Florida, it’s comforting to know how many tens of millions of dollars these 3 career politicians are willing to spend on their own job security.

Florida Rises Up Like Egypt

Floridians: Give Us Democracy Or Give Us Death!

“The Floridian culture is very threatened by Rick Scott’s dictatorial lockdown on the press,” says renegade blogger Jarrett Terrill who barely escaped the death panel imposed by the ruling party last year. “The people want to see what a real democracy looks like. Florida has not had a real election since the early 90’s and they blame the ruling party for this,” says Terrill.

Scott, like Mubarak, maintains a tight control over all communication online. If a worker’s internet access has been denied by Comcast’s clandestine operation called the Internet Owners for Freedom Regime (CIOFR), they cannot get necessary help or information. However, they may still receive Scott’s daily inspirational tweets on the preferred media outlet of the ruling party.

“The native people of Florida are feeling inspired by the Egyptians and Tunisians,” says Rebellion Leader Alan Grayson. “They are intent on upon achieving a real Democracy. It’s going to be a tough battle to the finish, but we’ve seen worse. So far, our plan is to not get sick and if we do, die quickly.”

But the rebel faction has received little help in the region from the United States. Although President Obama said “This is a way of endangering our troops, our sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, husbands and wives who are sacrificing for us to keep us safe, and you don’t play games with that,” about the radical regime in Florida, there is still a pervasive sense that those in the beltway see Florida as a Sovereign Nation.

Real journalists were denied access to the ruling party even before the so-called election. “It wasn’t an election, it was a dog and pony show just like always,” says Terrill. The small minority of Floridian people who did confirm that they voted for the dictator said they did so out of fear and desperation. They voted for Scott primarily so that his brutal Tea Party regime would stop harassing them. “I can take care of myself," said Evelyn Logas, a retired medical worker from Mount Dora. "I just want the government out of my life."


Logas, like other Floridians who were pressured into voting for Scott were also afraid that they would be denied medical care. The Dr. Mengele of the ruling Tea Party regime is named Dr. Jack Cassell. Outside of his office, he has signs posted that read “If you voted for Obama, seek medical care elsewhere.”

“I’m glad he’s shutting down transportation and denying medical care,” Liz Staub screams to a mob of protesters in Tampa. A Tea Party insurgent herself, she shakes her fist authoritarian style one more time at the crowd and retorts, “I hope he cuts it down to the bone!”

Staub is obviously under the advisement of Rick Scott’s minister of Propaganda, Sean Hannity. Activists stormed Disney World (which has since become the only refuge from snipers and car bombings) when they found evidence that no women were actually forced to give birth in the middle of the street under other leaders throughout the southern region of the United States and that their only government-approved media source had lied to them.

“The real issue here,” says Terrill, “Is that people finally realized the ruling Tea Party had been nothing but a front for Rick Scott’s regime all along. They were caused to realize this when Governor Scott vetoed their demand for a free democratic election. He did this by removing the people’s mandate to redraw the voting districts more fairly. The Scott regime employs a kind of propaganda about the situation in which they managed to convince their insurgents that Gerrymandering is ordained by God.”

Terrill says he also believes in God, but he is not a Talibangelical like the hostile majority in the Tea Party Regime. “My God would never allow for such deplorable behavior in his name,” says Terrill, who is now in hiding since insurgents took over his refugee camp. “These people are very dangerous because they believe in radical tax fundamentals like the idea that you can take more away from zero. So who can say what their concept of or respect for human life is like.”

“I only pray that the CREW is successful at infiltrating this dangerous regime at their highest levels. If I would have known things would get this bad, I would have voted for Alex Sink instead of the real Democrat I voted for... I was just thinking that at worst he'd be another Charlie Crist.”

Notice: Although this "news story" is obviously a parody, the photograph above is taken from inside the United States by PBS during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina... Some of the quotations above are real and some have been slightly embellished but the links lead you to the very real reasons that you should be concerned about our Democracy in Florida.

My Personal Endorsements for South Florida's Election in 2010

Jarrett Terrill is the News Editor at SFGN (South Florida Gay News) and a registered Democrat.

I limited myself to making endorsements in the races that I am very familiar with. If a campaign that you are a part of has not received an endorsement from me, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything other than that I don’t want to mislead people by making endorsements without all the facts. Now, with that being said…

For the US Senate, I endorse Kendrick Meek because of his solid Democratic platform, his refusal to put special interests ahead of his fellow Floridians and his unwavering support for LGBT Equality.

For US Representative District 23, I endorse Alcee Hastings. Hastings has also routinely gone to bat for equal rights and he has never let me down. He dares to bring much needed legislation to the floor where others might fear how it will affect their campaigns.

For US Representative District 20, I endorse Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who has without a doubt been a trailblazer for civil rights and equality in the House of Representatives. Schultz is a family woman who values safety for children and economic security for their families. Her constant advocacy and media appearances played a huge role in garnering support for passing the Mathew Shepard Act and keeping the repeal of unconstitutional laws like the Defense of Marriage Act on the table.

For Governor of Florida I endorse Michael E. Arth, an Independent candidate. While I break with my party on this endorsement, and while Alex Sink is a great candidate with many of my closest friends supporting her, I just really like Michael E. Arth that much better. He has brilliant ideas and isn’t afraid to be truly liberal in a time when other politicians are becoming rather fascist in their conservatism. Arth has written books, made documentary films, traveled Florida, and run a clean, honest campaign. Unlike his opponents, he supports FULL equality for all people – regardless of gender or orientation. He is an artist and an entrepreneur and he is also the only candidate who has addressed our state’s homeless population. While it’s very important to beat Rick Scott (possibly the worst candidate for governor we’ve ever had) and I believe that Alex Sink CAN beat him – I must support Michael E. Arth because he more strongly represents my personal beliefs and ideals.

For Attorney General, I endorse Dan Gelber.

For Broward County Commission District 4, I endorse Ken Keechl. He has a reputation for keeping a balanced budget, he is concerned about environmental affairs and emergency preparation and he most certainly will do everything he can to make sure that Broward County stays inclusive for ALL types of families and individuals. With this endorsement, it’s all about Keechl’s experience on the commission and the various boards, committees and associations he has worked with. His opponents just can’t duplicate his working knowledge of Broward County.

Most importantly in this election, I endorse Amendments 5 & 6. Both of these Amendments arose from grassroots campaigning for better re-districting in Florida and discussions nationwide about the fact that voters should be picking their candidates and not the other way around. If you don’t know what Gerrymandering is, let it just suffice to say that Florida is full of it… When career politicians get to re-draw the districts in their favor, it breeds corruption. Please, if you go to the polls for only one reason, make it to vote YES on 5 & 6.


Photo above: Congressman Kendrick Meek with Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz /Photo by Jarrett Terrill

10 Things I Hate About Florida

I am so excited about the upcoming 2010. So, for the new year, here is my list of 10 things that I hope to see a positive change in:

10. Dirty drinking water. It may surprise you to know that despite Charlie Crist's boat rides throught the everglades with John McCain, that Florida has some of the worst water contamination in the United States. Our governor has repeatedly attempted to market himself as having concern for the environment but there is absolutely no evidence to back it up. In fact, cities where Crist garnered most of his votes (like Tampa, Orlando, Jacksonville and Pensacola) all rank in the bottom 50 US cities for water cleanliness. Pensacola Florida has the absolute worst water quality in the USA. We need to clean up Floridas waters and stop dumping pollution into them.

09. Hurricane madness. Every time there is a hurricane in Florida, our entire state goes topsy-turvy with panicked media reporting, price gouging, and bizarre "emergency preparedness" marketing gimmicks. Just settle down, people. Every thunderstorm is not Hurricane Andrew. Just board up your windows, buy a few candles and remember the serenity prayer: God help me to accept the things I cannot change. Check out one of the hilarious parodies of Florida's weather reports on YouTube.

08. De-funding of rehabilitation programs in Broward. This one lands squarely on the shoulders of our Republican Sheriff Al Lamberti. He promised Broward's voters that he would cut the budget as Sheriff. Many of us believed this would be a good thing as there seems to be 2 Sheriff's officers for every citizen out on the streets here. It's a total police state. But Lamberti has gone and exacerbated many of our problems here in Broward by cutting the most essential programs associated with his department - the ones that keep criminals from returning to the streets with a chip on their shoulder. Furthermore, rumor has it with all the new cops he's put on the streets and a refusal to "just say no" to the PBA, he's actually increased the budget, not reduced it. One officer proudly showed me the computer games he had installed on his laptop in his squad car, which he admittedly plays all the time on his "boring" nights of patrol - paid for courtesy of the PBA. And I can still point to half a dozen obvious crack houses in my community that nobody has busted - including the corner dealer who slings his rock just one block south of the Sheriff's office building. Total shame! (And this assessment is coming from a guy who voted for Lamberti...)

07. Charlie Crist. This guy ran as a moderate and turned into someone so repulsive and pandering that even teabaggers think he's crazy. He's not managed to do much of anything except to strike a severe blow to gay rights and get married to some chick in a shotgun attempt to prove he's not gay himself. Florida Agenda editor, Dan Renzi wrote a tongue-in-cheek endorsement of Crists ultra-conservative opponent in the upcoming US Senate race in which he stated "Personally, I am rooting for [Marco] Rubio to win the Republican nomination... Crist has sold his soul for conservative votes just to benefit his own career." It must be noted here, that Renzi's "endorsement" of Rubio is at least sarcastic and at most, a hope to see Republicans back themselves into their own corner of shame. The Florida Agenda is a gay newspaper and Rubio is running an anti-gay campaign. But Florida's gays have lost all respect for Charlie Crist because of his support for Amendment 2 and seeing him lose another race to the very people whom he panders to would be bitter-sweet irony.

06. Gay Adoption Ban. Florida is the only state in the USA with a ban on adoption that specifically targets gays and lesbians. It's unconstitutional, it's wrong and it's hateful. Gay families all over the USA live in fear of this bill becoming a prototype for Nazi-esque family management laws all over the country.



05. Parking issues in South Beach. Every time there is a convention in Miami or South Beach, you are bound to pay hundreds of dollars in tickets, fees or to get your car out of towing (or all 3 simultaneously). City officials have been terrorizing visitors to their lovely haven with the threat of losing their transportation and income to "the system" for far too long. If you want your precious tourism to return, you had better take it easy on us and give us an affordable way to get there.

04. Public officials who live outside their jurisdictions. This issue was brought to my attention by a candidate for mayor of Fort Lauderdale who eventually lost, Earl Rynerson. A great number of city officials in metropolitan areas of Florida do not actually live in the areas that they preside over. This "take the money and run" approach to government is bleeding our cities dry and decreasing the liklihood that our legislators feel any allegiance to the communities which they supposedly represent. I am currently working on a list of income levels and places of residence for city officials in Fort Lauderdale and I would encourage other Florida bloggers and journalists to keep track of this disparity as well.

03. Hate Crimes. Florida is well on it's way to becoming the Hate Crime Capitol of the nation. Everything from the murder of Ryan Skipper to the police tasering of an unarmed African American bicyclist in North Florida to the States Attorneys and Sheriffs who flippantly refuse to prosecute hate crimes as such in spite of the new Federal law, The Mathew Shepard Act. For more information, visit Gay American Heroes.

02. Amendment 2. The state of Florida has more targeted anti-gay laws on its books than any other state in the USA - which is ironic considering the number of gays and lesbians who live and vacation here. Gay and Lesbian, NY and European tourism is declining at warp speed from South Florida, the small two-city patch of Florida from which we derive the upper 35% of our total tax revenue. Businesses are closing and restaurant workers are taking home fewer tips. One major reason for this is because Fort Lauderdale is no longer "where the boys are". Florida has been getting a nasty reputation as the only state that has specifically outlawed both gay adoption and civil unions. Amendment 2, despite the hype from an ultra-conservative group who put it on the ballot, goes far beyond protecting marriage and is a full-scale assault on gays and lesbians. It's much worse than California's Proposition 8 because it outlaws the recognition of civil unions and mandates it's own permanency by requiring that only a super-majority of voters can overturn it. The areas of Florida that voted for Amendment 2 by the highest majority also happen to be the areas from which we recieve the measley lowest amount of tax revenue in the state.

01. Gerrymandering. Here's where I introduce the light at the end of the tunnel. More Floridians (both conservative and liberal) are warming up to the idea of a ballot measure introduced by Fair Districts Florida which would effectively end Gerrymandering in the sunshine state. The current re-districting policies are probably the one link between all of the 9 problems listed above and a whole slew of other problems including corruption and cronyism. We can all agree that Florida is sick of hateful Republicans and corrupt Democrats. The Fair Districts Florida ballot measure is a way for us to give power back to the voters and to restore confidence in our swing state. We used to be the spotlight of the nation during our elections and our impact on the USA was envied. But in the last few elections we were an embarrassment to our country. We allowed George HW Bush's Supreme Court to elect his son to the Presidency in 2000 and we allowed our state legislators to take away our ability to participate in the Presidential primary election of '08. It's time to take back our state and tell our legislators that we would like to stop being forced to vote for the lesser of two evils in every election. The Fair Districts Florida ballot measure is the way to go!