Florida Rises Up Like Egypt

Floridians: Give Us Democracy Or Give Us Death!

“The Floridian culture is very threatened by Rick Scott’s dictatorial lockdown on the press,” says renegade blogger Jarrett Terrill who barely escaped the death panel imposed by the ruling party last year. “The people want to see what a real democracy looks like. Florida has not had a real election since the early 90’s and they blame the ruling party for this,” says Terrill.

Scott, like Mubarak, maintains a tight control over all communication online. If a worker’s internet access has been denied by Comcast’s clandestine operation called the Internet Owners for Freedom Regime (CIOFR), they cannot get necessary help or information. However, they may still receive Scott’s daily inspirational tweets on the preferred media outlet of the ruling party.

“The native people of Florida are feeling inspired by the Egyptians and Tunisians,” says Rebellion Leader Alan Grayson. “They are intent on upon achieving a real Democracy. It’s going to be a tough battle to the finish, but we’ve seen worse. So far, our plan is to not get sick and if we do, die quickly.”

But the rebel faction has received little help in the region from the United States. Although President Obama said “This is a way of endangering our troops, our sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, husbands and wives who are sacrificing for us to keep us safe, and you don’t play games with that,” about the radical regime in Florida, there is still a pervasive sense that those in the beltway see Florida as a Sovereign Nation.

Real journalists were denied access to the ruling party even before the so-called election. “It wasn’t an election, it was a dog and pony show just like always,” says Terrill. The small minority of Floridian people who did confirm that they voted for the dictator said they did so out of fear and desperation. They voted for Scott primarily so that his brutal Tea Party regime would stop harassing them. “I can take care of myself," said Evelyn Logas, a retired medical worker from Mount Dora. "I just want the government out of my life."


Logas, like other Floridians who were pressured into voting for Scott were also afraid that they would be denied medical care. The Dr. Mengele of the ruling Tea Party regime is named Dr. Jack Cassell. Outside of his office, he has signs posted that read “If you voted for Obama, seek medical care elsewhere.”

“I’m glad he’s shutting down transportation and denying medical care,” Liz Staub screams to a mob of protesters in Tampa. A Tea Party insurgent herself, she shakes her fist authoritarian style one more time at the crowd and retorts, “I hope he cuts it down to the bone!”

Staub is obviously under the advisement of Rick Scott’s minister of Propaganda, Sean Hannity. Activists stormed Disney World (which has since become the only refuge from snipers and car bombings) when they found evidence that no women were actually forced to give birth in the middle of the street under other leaders throughout the southern region of the United States and that their only government-approved media source had lied to them.

“The real issue here,” says Terrill, “Is that people finally realized the ruling Tea Party had been nothing but a front for Rick Scott’s regime all along. They were caused to realize this when Governor Scott vetoed their demand for a free democratic election. He did this by removing the people’s mandate to redraw the voting districts more fairly. The Scott regime employs a kind of propaganda about the situation in which they managed to convince their insurgents that Gerrymandering is ordained by God.”

Terrill says he also believes in God, but he is not a Talibangelical like the hostile majority in the Tea Party Regime. “My God would never allow for such deplorable behavior in his name,” says Terrill, who is now in hiding since insurgents took over his refugee camp. “These people are very dangerous because they believe in radical tax fundamentals like the idea that you can take more away from zero. So who can say what their concept of or respect for human life is like.”

“I only pray that the CREW is successful at infiltrating this dangerous regime at their highest levels. If I would have known things would get this bad, I would have voted for Alex Sink instead of the real Democrat I voted for... I was just thinking that at worst he'd be another Charlie Crist.”

Notice: Although this "news story" is obviously a parody, the photograph above is taken from inside the United States by PBS during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina... Some of the quotations above are real and some have been slightly embellished but the links lead you to the very real reasons that you should be concerned about our Democracy in Florida.